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I am beginning to wonder if I am the only parent that finds mealtimes the most stressful and exhausting part of the day. Birch flings his food every which way, wants his huge truck to play with while eating (making it impossible to keep food on his tray), insists on playing and coming back around for a bit while walking, or worse I follow him around with his food while playing. I did that last bit last weekend and two experienced moms told me I shouldn’t do that. EEK! What to do? I am afraid he won’t get enough to eat if I don’t follow him around. So, I sought some advice off the internet. Here are some pearls of wisdom from  two different sources.

(PHOTO: A perfect example of Birch needing a toy so that we can even get a bite in)

What a major relief it was to read that Dr. Sears had the same carpet and floor-splattered mess we are now accustomed to and that he and his wife dreaded mealtimes too. Here is what he says on it all:

ww.askdrsears.com:
Why toddlers are picky. Being a picky eater is part of what it means to be a
toddler. We have since learned that there are developmental reasons why kids
between one and three years of age peck and poke at their food. After a year of
rapid growth (the average one-year-old has tripled her birth weight), toddlers
gain weight more slowly. So, of course, they need less food. The fact that these
little ones are always on the go also affects their eating patterns. They don’t
sit still for anything, even food. Snacking  their way
through the day is more compatible with these busy explorers’ lifestyle than
sitting down to a full-fledged feast.Learning this helped us relax. We now realize that our job is simply to buy
the right food, prepare it nutritiously (steamed rather than boiled, baked
rather than fried), and serve it creatively. We leave the rest up to the kids.
How much they eat, when they eat, and if they eat is mostly their
responsibility; we’ve learned to take neither the credit nor the blame. Toddlers like to binge  on one food at a time. They may eat
only fruits one day, and vegetables the next. Since erratic eating habits are as
normal as toddler mood swings, expect your child to eat well one day and eat
practically nothing the next. Toddlers from one to three years need between
1,000 and 1,300 calories a day, yet they may not eat this amount every day. Aim
for a nutritionally-balanced week, not a balanced day. Offer a nibble tray. Toddlers like to graze
their way through a variety of foods, so why not offer them a customized
smorgasbord? The first tip from the Sears’ kitchen is to offer toddlers a nibble
tray. Use an ice-cube tray, a muffin tin, or a compartmentalized dish, and put
bite-size portions of colorful and nutritious foods in each section. Place the food on an easy-to-reach table. As your toddler makes his rounds
through the house, he can stop, sit down, nibble a bit, and, when he’s done,
continue on his way. These foods have a table-life of an hour or two.

Babycenter had some advice as well.

www.babycenter.com:
Limit mealtimes to about 20 – 30 minutes and accept that after
this your toddler is unlikely to eat much more. It is better to wait
for the next snack or meal and offer some nutritious foods then, rather
than extending a meal trying to persuade your toddler to eat more. Most
toddlers eat whatever they are going to in the first 20 minutes. Offer finger foods as often as possible and allow your toddler
to make a mess at mealtimes. Toddlers enjoy having the control of
feeding themselves with finger foods. Eat in a calm relaxed environment away from distractions
such as the TV, games and toys. Toddlers can concentrate on one thing
at a time so distractions make it more difficult for them to
concentrate on eating. Don’t take away a refused meal and offer a completely different one in its place.
A toddler will soon take advantage if you do. In the long run it is
always better to offer family meals and accept that your child will
prefer some foods to others. Always try to offer one food at each meal
that you know she will eat.
Don’t offer the sweet course as a reward for eating the first course. You will make the sweet course seem more desirable than the savoury one.
Don’t offer large drinks of milk, squash or fruit juice within an hour of the meal.
Large drinks will reduce your toddler’s appetite. If she is thirsty,
give her a drink of water instead. Try to phase out bottles so that all
your toddler’s drinks, including milk, are given in cups or beakers.
Don’t offer snacks just before or just after a meal. Don’t
give a snack soon after a meal if your toddler hasn’t eaten well at her
main meal. It is tempting to do this just to ensure that your toddler
has eaten something. However, it is best to have a set meal pattern and
wait until the next snack or meal before offering food again.
Don’t assume that because your toddler has refused a food she will never eat it again. Tastes change with time. Some toddlers need to be offered a new food more than 10 times before they feel confident to try it.
Finally, don’t feel guilty if one meal turns into a disaster. Put it behind you and approach the next meal positively. Parents also learn by making mistakes.

Whew! I feel better- though I still don’t know if I am not supposed to follow him around the house with food? I suspect the answer is "no". Also, it seems we are giving Birch too much milk: about 20 oz a day, and from a bottle nonetheless- egads! Well, we have some things to work on I guess!

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