Comments on: I Love You No Matter What http://www.achildgrows.com/2008/11/10/i-love-you-no-matter-what/ The home for Brooklyn parents Sun, 14 Mar 2010 15:01:18 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Heather http://www.achildgrows.com/2008/11/10/i-love-you-no-matter-what/comment-page-1/#comment-653 Heather Tue, 11 Nov 2008 23:38:10 +0000 http://www.achildgrowsinbrooklyn.com/?p=1217#comment-653 I think you're way overthinking this. Your son hit your daughter. Your babysitter didn't tolerate that. There's nothing wrong with that!! As a product of the last wave of free to be you and me child-rearing processes, I have to say, there's nothing wrong with discipline. I think you’re way overthinking this. Your son hit your daughter. Your babysitter didn’t tolerate that. There’s nothing wrong with that!!

As a product of the last wave of free to be you and me child-rearing processes, I have to say, there’s nothing wrong with discipline.

]]> By: admin http://www.achildgrows.com/2008/11/10/i-love-you-no-matter-what/comment-page-1/#comment-634 admin Tue, 11 Nov 2008 05:25:59 +0000 http://www.achildgrowsinbrooklyn.com/?p=1217#comment-634 Hi Rebekah, I have friends who send their child there too and absolutely adore it. I missed their open house last year so I will try and go this year. Interesting to hear that some of the other parents like Kohn's book- I am finding it endlessly helpful. I keep going back to it to reread sections as I come up against some walls.Thanks for writing! Karen Hi Rebekah,
I have friends who send their child there too and absolutely adore it. I missed their open house last year so I will try and go this year. Interesting to hear that some of the other parents like Kohn’s book- I am finding it endlessly helpful. I keep going back to it to reread sections as I come up against some walls.Thanks for writing!
Karen

]]> By: Rebekah http://www.achildgrows.com/2008/11/10/i-love-you-no-matter-what/comment-page-1/#comment-615 Rebekah Mon, 10 Nov 2008 13:56:51 +0000 http://www.achildgrowsinbrooklyn.com/?p=1217#comment-615 Thank you so much for posting this. I've been reading Alfie Kohn's book Unconditional Parenting and he is so right on. My younger child has been particularly challenging these last few months and I started scrambling to find good advice through books. Friends have offered advice usually involving methods of getting control, or some sort of punitive measures to reach desired behavior. That just doesn't resonate with me. I find that sitting with my own emotional reaction BEFORE doing anything really helps, and that I can approach the situation with love and warmth and ease once I've collected myself. My kids attend the Brooklyn Free School in Park Slope. I hope you'll look into it and write about it here sometime (if you haven't already!). It goes so far beyond the carrot and stick measures of education we are so used to, beyond labeling kids with ADD and ODD (don't they all have a healthy bit of defiance?), and supports the children for who they are, respecting them unconditionally, which in turn allows them to develop as individuals that can check their own behavior out of a deep self respect, and respect for the group as a whole. Alfie Kohn has inspired quite a few of the families that have chosen the free school, because that very conditionality that you speak of is so prevalent in regular schools. It's really wonderful that you can go through this with your family, and then share it with the rest of us! Rebekah Thank you so much for posting this. I’ve been reading Alfie Kohn’s book Unconditional Parenting and he is so right on. My younger child has been particularly challenging these last few months and I started scrambling to find good advice through books. Friends have offered advice usually involving methods of getting control, or some sort of punitive measures to reach desired behavior. That just doesn’t resonate with me. I find that sitting with my own emotional reaction BEFORE doing anything really helps, and that I can approach the situation with love and warmth and ease once I’ve collected myself.
My kids attend the Brooklyn Free School in Park Slope. I hope you’ll look into it and write about it here sometime (if you haven’t already!). It goes so far beyond the carrot and stick measures of education we are so used to, beyond labeling kids with ADD and ODD (don’t they all have a healthy bit of defiance?), and supports the children for who they are, respecting them unconditionally, which in turn allows them to develop as individuals that can check their own behavior out of a deep self respect, and respect for the group as a whole. Alfie Kohn has inspired quite a few of the families that have chosen the free school, because that very conditionality that you speak of is so prevalent in regular schools.
It’s really wonderful that you can go through this with your family, and then share it with the rest of us!
Rebekah

]]>