The Dream Team: Advanced Preparation and Problem-Solving by Alice Kaltman It’s easy to love kids. However it’s not always so easy to get them to do what we want. At some point even the most… Read More »Can You Get Kids To Do What You Want?
This post isn’t about fighting over dinner with your kids…but with your partner. Do you and your partner have different ideas about mealtimes, what should be eaten and how much? Donna Fish counsels a couple over their issue of “clean your plate”. Luckily, they resolve it.
by Donna Fish
The other day I was counseling a couple who came to me over their own fighting over their kids’ food. He: “I think Karen defers to the kids too much. They should eat what is on their plate, and finish it all!” She: “I refuse to make my kid eat chicken if she doesn’t like chicken; she has great eating habits and was happy with the cantaloupe and salad.”
Sound familiar? Perhaps the genders are flipped in your household, but invariably, parents differ over leniency, or how to handle it when kids don’t want to eat what is given to them. Often it is related to how we as children were raised around food. As this Dad said to me plainly: “I had to eat what was there for dinner, or I didn’t get food. I just want Karen to respect my position and not fight me in front of the kids.”
Then he sheepishly shared a story of how he had a standoff once with his Dad over being forced to eat something he didn’t like. He stayed at the table all day.
Feeding our kids, and feeding ourselves, often can raise lots of issues. Unfortunately in their case, this couple came for help because they were in a stalemate over how to handle their differing perspectives and were fighting in front of the kids. Like any couple issue, the ghosts of others are lurking there in the room as we are playing out the current scenes. Add to the mix the stakes of teaching kids good eating habits, and you have a perfect storm of tension, anger and polarization.
A few tips:
1) Think carefully Read More »Parents…Fighting Over Dinner?
This is a particularly interesting post to me. Birch has been diagnosed as “possibly having allergies”. It started with his constant blinking. At first, we thought it was an attention-getting measure, but he did it even when we weren’t looking. Then his eyes started watering all the time. We took him to an opthamologist who diagnosed it as “possible allergies” and prescribed Patanol. (See Dr. Gilgoff’s reference to it below). I was interested to read Dr. Gilgoff ‘s advice to use Patanol “as needed”. I am so relieved that we don’t have to pin Birch down every night for his drops. It has been torture for all of us! If Birch’s symptoms don’t disappear in 3 months, we are supposed to go back and consider his far-sightedness as the possible cause. Honestly, I hope it isn’t allergies. I have had them all my life, and can’t seem to make it through a season without Claritin, nasal spray and eye drops. Ugh!
by Dr. Gilgoff
Achoo!!! Indeed, it’s that time of the year once again. The flowers are blooming and the pollen count is rising. Every year around this time we have a flood of “sick visits” – kids who are sincerely suffering with seasonal allergy symptoms.
Allergies can actually present at a young age although usually not before 6 months. Why they don’t start earlier is interesting, but it often takes repeated exposure to an allergen before you see a reaction. In addition, the mechanisms of inflammation in the body are not fully developed in a newborn.
Allergies often run in a family, and sometimes they are signs of a “sensitive” or atopic child in general. Quite often a child may have sensitive skin, or eczema and some allergic kids have asthma as well.
Symptoms and Signs of Allergies
The severity of allergies can be anywhere from mild to severe, and they can indeed mimic other disease processes. The eyes are usually itchy and mildly red, but there is usually NOT Read More »Does Your Child Have Allergies?