Annie Walker, a mom of two young girls, tells us her amazing story of her wish for gender equality and what she did to make sure the world (or at least Pottery Barn Kids) gave her daughters just as many options as the boys! Her story is inspiring…and so is the response she got!
As a mom to a three year daughter, I want to teach her that she can reach for the doll as often as she reaches for the truck to play with. We strive to keep gender equality in our house a top priority. When my younger son gets a dinosaur in the mail from his aunt, it is a shared gift to both of them and when my daughter wants her toes painted and my son wants to join in, I give him a little color on his piggies. My friend Annie shared her amazing story with Pottery Barn Kids with us.
I never considered myself a feminist. That is until one evening about a year and a half ago when I discovered a Pottery Barn Kids catalog in my mailbox. It was about a month before Christmas. My two daughters (ages 2 ½ and 15 months) were asleep in their beds. I curled up on the couch with the catalog in my hands, excited that my children were getting old enough to participate in the wonder of the upcoming holiday. For the first time since becoming a parent, I found myself thinking critically about what presents to purchase for them. Were they the kind of children who would be thrilled with blocks or books? Dollhouses or drum sets? Opening up that catalog, I was eager to find inspiration.
As I flipped through the pages, the usual holiday images jumped out at me: Colorful stockings hung by the chimney, glistening ornaments on picture-perfect trees, and children curled up in fluffy sleeping bags. It wasn’t until I neared the end of the catalog that I began to have a sense of something not quite right.
One two-page spread was entitled “Season of Discovery.” The children pictured were actively engaged with trains, telescopes, dinosaurs, and a very cool spy kit. It took me a minute to realize what was missing on these pages: girls. There was not a single little girl pictured with these “discovery” toys. Furthermore, the subtitle read, “Get his imagination going with dynamic toys . . .” His imagination.
Suddenly I was furious. What was going on here? Where were the trains, dinosaurs, and telescopes for my “dynamic” little girls?
I quickly flipped through the rest of the catalog and realized that the gender bias didn’t stop there. Eight pages devoted to dolls and accessories and not a single little boy pictured nor a single male doll. The copy resembled something out of a 1950s ad: “Surprise her with a baby to love . . .” and “Surprise her with a new best friend.” Sadly, the little boy looking for a “new best friend” or a “baby to love” had no representation here.
The gender stereotyping went beyond images and copy and was subtly represented in the products themselves. The “girls” bedding collections featured sheets covered in flowers, butterflies, and polka dots while the “boys” collections featured vehicles and sporting equipment. One gender represented as delicate and passive. The other as active and strong. Even a child could figure out which was which.
Was I really this naïve? I never expected to open up a catalog in this century and be confronted with such blatant gender stereotyping.
I did the only thing I could think of to do—I poured my thoughts into a lengthy letter and e-mailed it to the Pottery Barn Kids customer service department.
A day later I received what was probably a form letter from Pottery Barn Kids letting me know that “customer feedback is very important.” I figured that was the last I would hear from the company, but I felt slightly better knowing that I had at least expressed my opinion and stood up for my two daughters.
I had just about laid the whole thing to rest when one afternoon I received a voicemail…from the President of Pottery Barn Kids. She (yes the president is a woman) thanked me for my e-mail and expressed a desire to speak with me about my concerns. She admitted that the company had been heading down the wrong track and that my e-mail had opened her eyes to the issue of gender equality in children’s advertising.
I was not only ecstatic that someone (let alone the President of the company!) had heard my voice, but I was determined to make sure she understood everything wrong with that catalog. In preparation for my conversation, I carefully re-examined the catalog page by page and accumulated several notebook pages worth of incriminating data such as the number of girls pictured playing in toy kitchens (7 in addition to 1 mom) versus the number of boys pictured playing with the kitchens (1 plus 0 dads).
The day that the President of Pottery Barn Kids personally called me, I was prepared to go to battle for my daughters. But as it turned out, I didn’t have to. I had already said enough. Instead I listened–to a woman who had come from a family of several sisters. A woman who had worked hard to reach a top position in a successful company. A woman who was humble and admitted the need for some drastic changes.
My anger was replaced by respect for this woman. I didn’t need my four pages of notes. She had gotten the message loud and clear.
During that conversation I learned that my e-mail had had an immediate effect. The printing presses were halted thatvery day and the Pottery Barn Kids Holiday catalog underwent immediate changes before being republished. The President now talks with her team weekly about gender representation in their products, stores, and catalogs. She expresses a desire to be an industry leader on this topic. And the best part: The next Pottery Barn Kids catalog to reach my doorstep had a picture of a little girl in it . . . relaxing on her dynamic Star Wars bedding.
There is so much more to be done in the struggle for gender equality in our society. But the small victories must be savored. As a stay-at-home mom, I sometimes feel like my sphere of influence is small. That’s why I saved that voicemail from the President of Pottery Barn Kids–as proof that our voices CAN make a difference on a larger scale.
I’m no longer boycotting Pottery Barn Kids. It turns out that billion-dollar corporations, just like parents, aren’t perfect. But with a little bit of humility, open dialogue, and willingness to change, we can all work together to make the world a better place for our children.
– Annie Walker has a Masters degree in Elementary Education and has taught kindergarten, 1st grade, and reading intervention. She currently stays at home with her two daughters, ages 3 1/2 and 2.