Measles outbreak. This is what Jenny McCarthy and unethical medical research can get you: a resurgence in the leading cause of vaccine-preventable childhood mortality. Sure, we can give up on vaccines and return to 1920’s America when 30% of the death rate was caused by measles pneumonia. No? You’re not ready to go heavy in tin futures? Me neither. With measles making a comeback, it’s time to check your kid’s immunization records, and be sure that if they are under four they get their booster now, don’t wait for your well visit. This is particularly true for kids in these zip codes: 10034, 10040, 10033, 10032, 10451, and 10453. These codes belong to areas in Harlem and the Bronx, where the 16 cases of measles have been found. Now don’t worry, 16 cases does not an epidemic make, an outbreak, yes. Sadly, thanks to one peaked monkey, even that word induces Weather Channel-style panic. But no one’s organs are going to liquefy, just err on the side of caution. Measles are very very contagious and, while treatable, have some potentially scary (yes, scary like pneumonia and death) complications. If your kid has yet to be vaccinated look for three days of fever with coughing, congestion and/or pink eye (doesn’t that sound like every kid in Brooklyn, right now?). Oh, yes, and there’s the rash.
I realize that avoiding vaccinations may seem tempting. Without poisonous vaccines your child’s bile might increase, thereby awakening the brain troll, which can then be released through a simple trepanning procedure reducing any risk of cerebral cloud. Life is full of tough choices.