This is a question all parents face as their kids get older. When is the right time to start leaving your kids home alone? From short trips walking the dog, to longer forays without the kiddos, writer Patricia Dimick gives us her advice on safely preparing for this big step.
Being left home alone can be scary for both you and your child. When you work during the day, you have a tough task of making sure your child is safe before and after school. The choice to leave your child home alone is also difficult, as knowing your child’s readiness can be challenging. Your judgment about your child’s readiness is key and these tips will help to keep your child safe.
Make a Plan
Create a routine for times when your child is home alone. Your plan should include what to do in a natural disaster, fire or another emergency situation. Ask your child about his or her feelings related to staying home alone. Fear or anxiety might suggest that it’s not time yet. If he’s willing to try, doing so can enhance his independence and self-confidence. Decide on a few basic rules with positive language, such as “Lock the door” rather than “Don’t open the door to strangers.” Maintain a positive attitude about your child and reward good behavior. Update rules if your child needs more structure.
Home Alone Trial
Practice leaving your child home alone for short periods of time. Try a 30 minute trial while you’re nearby and accessible by phone. Upon your return, discuss how the test worked and talk about what could be improved for next time. Slowly increase the length of the trial runs.
Teach Basics
Teach your child about the normal sounds of the home, such as the opening of the door, ringing of the phone or the barking of the dog. Knowing what’s normal versus abnormal helps your child know what to react to. Show your child how to take phone messages without revealing that you’re not home. Put an emergency contact list by all land line phones and show your child the contact list on cell phones. Teach your child how 9-1-1 works. Explain the signs of home burglaries such as broken windows or open doors, and explain that your child should not enter the house if he sees these signs. Make sure your child knows what to do in the event of a fire. Enroll your child in a first aid basics class.
Rules Before You Leave
Create a schedule for calling your child to check in with you. Either have your child call when he gets home, or arrange a time that you’ll call him. Enact some special rules only used for home alone times. Make sure your home has the supplies your child will need to stay by himself. Be sure to keep potential health and safety hazards locked up and safe. Keep any dangerous items or substance in a place your child can’t get to them or remove them from your home. Teach your child not to tell anyone he’s home alone, including kids his own age. Make it clear what your child is allowed to do or not allowed to do, such as using the internet or having one or more friends over.
Considerations for Home Alone Time
Think about having an older teen or family friend check in with your child. A same-age trusted friend could also come to keep your child company. This could be a good practice for upcoming home alone times. Let the friend’s parents know that the children won’t have adult supervision. Call regularly to check up on the kids and make sure your child knows to call you back if he misses your call. Think about giving your child his own cell phone only for contacting you or emergency services. Remember that your family dog or cat can also be a good companion for home alone times.
As your child grows, practicing situations of increased independence and responsibility helps him to develop the skills he will need as an adult. Take it slowly and don’t ask too much too soon of your child. Add the new responsibilities slowly to avoid potentially scary or dangerous situations. If your child becomes nervous, take a break from home-alone times. With regular practice and thorough preparation of your home and child, the whole family will be able to relax and revel in the times your child is able to spend at home alone.
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Patricia Dimick is a Denver based writer and a passionate coffee drinker. She loves to write about parenting topics and loves DIY jobs. When Patricia’s not writing or playing table tennis, she usually spends time with her precious daughter and a husband enjoying trips to nature. You can reach her @patricia_dimick.
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