You are ready to head out of the door to the park then your kid has a volcanic meltdown on the floor because they do not want to go to the park. The place that they begged you to go and hour ago. But now, NOPE. It’s the park, THE PARK. You are going for THEM, and there is your child, now a puddle of goo on the floor. WHAT?!?!?!
After a long day it is time for bath, ya know, like EVERYDAY. You gave a 5 minute heads up but going from play to bath is a nightmare. Fighting, negotiating, tears from both parties. Why can’t things just go smoothly once, just once, well all the time really, but for right now, just ONCE????
Here it is, kids have a really hard time with transitions. They have a hard time going from one activity to another. Sometimes they are having fun and don’t want to stop, sometimes they do not want to do what’s next, and sometimes they just can’t move onto something new. Here are a few tips and tricks that will tame those transition troubles.
Give A Heads Up And/Or Save It
Kids like to be in the know. Before a transition, give a child a 5, then 2, then 1 minute heads up and ask what they need to do in order to feel finished and ready to move on. Grown ups, at times, can disregard what a child is doing, seeing it simply as play. Well, yes it IS play but it is also important. A child may be mid puzzle or drawing or building. Leaving a task unfinished can be difficult or the thought of cleaning up a creation, heartbreaking. No need to always go into clean up mode. You can freeze or hold an activity so the child can come back to it. You can save pieces. Break out of the mindset that things MUST be cleaned up. This bit of thoughtfulness and respect will get your kids moving.
Sing, Sing A Song
Kids respond to songs, rhymes, and routine in ways that will amaze you. No REALLY. AMAZE YOU!!! Sing a clean up song, and watch kids start to clean. Sing a put your shoes on song, and there they will go, putting on shoes. It is like magic. What fun songs and routines can you make up? Don’t panic, you do not need to be able to sing, I can’t, nor do these songs complicated, just 4-8 words, and just repeat ‘em.
Consequences
Lastly if kids do not listen, there must be reactions for their actions. Kids choices can lead many places, and teaching them that their choices cause consequences, good and not so good, can help them make the safe and helpful ones. For example, “If the blocks are so distracting that you cannot move on when it is time, blocks will have to be closed (unavailable), it is up to you.” I like to give kids choices so that they can be in control of their day and learn responsibility. This can work with TV, games, and other toys in your home. If something is too distracting then it cannot be used. Transitions can take forever when tantrums, fights, and negotiations are involved. When this happens do not allow for time to be made up or activities to be stretched. If a child has TV time after brushing teeth before bed at 7, but the transition to teeth brushing took so long that it is now 7:30, bedtime, then TV time gets missed. You did not take it away, the time for that activity has passed. When a child knows that their actions can have reactions that cause them to miss things that they like, they will think before stalling too long during a transition. If transitioning to the park takes too long, then they miss the park. You are not taking anything away, these are not random things being lost. They are the next thing, and they simply run out of time. Transitions may not be easy and it may take a little time to create a new routine but these work.
What transition tips work for you?
Brandi Davis, ACC, is a certified Parenting Coach, Parent Educator, and Author of O.K. I’m A Parent Now What? She can also be found on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and be sure to catch her parenting podcasts on iTunes. The goal of Brandi’s practice is to bring respect, calm communication, teamwork, and FUN into the home or classroom. To discover all that Child and Family Coaching can bring to your family stop by www.childandfamilycoaching.com.