In honor of Dads (and giving them the credit they deserve in all things, including decisions about eating healthy as a family), Ginger Bakos from Dinosaurs are NOT Food shares her thoughts on how she worked with her partner in crime to change their family’s eating lifestyle for the better.
Celebrate Dad: AKA Gosh Dads Are Important
As our family started on this journey of eating well and finding healthy alternatives, my husband has been unequivocally supportive. Despite his own propensity for Hot Pockets and Buffalo Wild Wings, he happily eats everything put on the table. He has been vegan at home, paleo at home, drank green juice and any number of things I’ve thrown at him while coming to grips with my own healthy eating philosophy, and eventually, my healthy FAMILY eating philosophy.
Sometimes, when I’m away, I’ll worry about what the kids are eating. But he has started opting for Panera and Chipotle instead of Pizza Hut and Taco Bell when he takes them out. And the meals he puts together are nothing short of thoughtful- even if he often attempts to feed the children as though they are NFL linebackers. Would I do it differently? Absolutely. Does it matter? Not one bit. Because even if it’s not exactly how I would do it, he’s still committed to the family program.
Women ask me all the time how I managed to get him on board. And I think really, it’s just about giving dads far more credit. They are the capable adults we chose to have children with, after all. And perhaps, if we just let them in on this whole healthy eating thing rather than dictating it, or worse not discussing it at all, we will find invaluable support. Support that will be essential as we try to succeed and most importantly, as we work to shape our kiddos’ relationship with healthy food.
It can be easy to leave dads out in the cold as we, the designated family worriers, craft our family’s lives, but it is without a doubt, a mistake. Because after all, dads care much more about their families than they often let on. For better or worse, my husband is not one to show displeasure, he internalizes nearly everything (a common, albeit stereotypical, male trait). So by the time, I’ve made some whirlwind decision without consulting him, he simply says nothing, but also, he’s reticent to support it and resists simply by not participating.
I’ve found the very best things that have happened with our family, happen when we are working like a true partnership. And when I embarked on understanding food and health, he was supportive from the get go. When this all started, my triglycerides were off the charts and I had moved from being pre-diabetic to being a newly diagnosed diabetic (a condition that runs deep in my family), and honestly, my life and quality of life depended on it. In this case, I had to involve him because things HAD to change. And it was an incredibly valuable lesson to me in how important Dad’s role is not just in healthy eating, but in all things.
Because we had long talks about it, and made the decision to change our family’s eating habits together, he was all in. Over the first few weeks after my grim checkup results, he brought home specialized cookbooks, books on nutrition, about 50 healthy eating magazines and more. I would hand him cookbooks and ask what he’d be willing to try, and he would pick things out earnestly. We ate more salads, more fruits and more turkey burgers and tempeh than most Americans consume in their lifetime. And because HE ate it, my eldest (then only 5) also ate it. When I encourage little to eat his cucumbers, Dad is quick to support with “Hulk is big and green and strong because he eats all his green things!” Stuff I wouldn’t think of, honestly.
And everything Dad models in the way of good eating, big boy now tries to model for his little brother, as well. It’s no secret that involved dads have great influence on their kiddos.
The question for you is are you willing to let him be involved enough to have that sort of influence?
So if you have been trying to eat a completely different meal plan from your husband and kids and you haven’t taken the time to talk to your partner about it. Do.
Take the time to see what the challenges are for everyone, and work together to overcome them. So that the whole family can benefit from healthy eating and nutritious food. There doesn’t have to be this great chasm between what Mom eats and what Dad and kids eat, any more than there should be a great chasm between what parents and kids eat. And the sooner you get Dad involved in the conversation, the greater your success will be.
Ginger Bakos is a Meal Planning and Food Budget Wizard who writes the blog Dinosaurs Are NOT Food. She is committed to helping moms feed their families well and within their budget, believing that everyone can, and deserves, to eat well! Her greatest passion is freeing moms and kiddos from the “kid food” cycle and guiding them to a healthful and positive relationship with real food. She converted her very own 3 year old Master of All Things Bread and Cheese to a beet and broccoli lover, and she knows you can make it happen in your house, too. You can contact her at ginger@dinosaursarenotfood.com.