Have you thought about using anatomically correct language with your children? There are so many reasons this is important. Child and Family Coaching‘s Brandi Davis shares her thoughts on this important issue.
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“That’s a bad word.” A tiny voice says to me. “Huh, what did I say?” Then I thought about it and realized what the word was, the bad word that I had just said; PENIS! Yup, the word was penis. I had to, yet again, reminded a tiny, tiny man to keep his eyes on his penis while he peed in the potty. Anyone who has lived with a boy 4 or 40 knows what happens when they take their eyes off of it while peeing. Ugh. I work with kids and I keep it real. We use real names for our body parts. An elbow is an elbow, an ear is an ear, a penis is a penis and a vagina is a vagina (and yes, I DO know that the area that we are speaking of is ACTUALLY the vulva, but at this point that word is rarely used and some are not familiar with that term, so vagina it is). It’s time we start calling body parts by their real names and kick hooha, flower, cookie, peepee and the like to the curb.
Why am I so zealous about this cause? Why do I care so much about the use of Penis and Vagina? When we deem a term bad, inappropriate, or embarrassing, we add a sense of shame to it. Vaginas and penises serve other purposes besides those sexual ones that get us all jumpy and stuttery. Yet we are so stuck on (or freaked out by) the sex chunk, that many of us need to rename these parts in order to be comfortable with them. Come on folks, whats so wrong with SEX anyway? NOTHING.
Back to my point. When we shame the word, we shame the part, and in doing so we shame the child. We pass on the idea that those parts are not quite the same as the other parts of the body. They are bad, or wrong, or something to be afraid of or feel awkward about. They get demonized. The thing is, kids NEED to talk about these body parts. These parts get injured and get infected (urinary tract infections), itchy, touched (we don’t want to think about that, but we need to). Kids need to feel comfortable with their body and speaking about all parts to get the help that they need. No one would want a child to feel uncomfortable talking about a headache.
As children move into adolescence and adulthood, we want them to feel comfortable with their bodies. We want them to be able to ask about the changes they are experiencing. We want them to feel comfortable discussing wants and needs with their partner, and set boundaries. We want them to feel ownership over their bodies, the whole of their bodies. We want them to feel as in tune with penises and vaginas as they do with a stomach, leg, or head.
Recently a friend said that their child got in trouble for using anatomically correct words. Really???? Grown ups, it is time that we ACT like grown ups and stop being so freaked out by these two words.
Say them with me, PENIS; VAGINA. Say them again and again and again until they sound and feel like any other word that you say in your day. It’s just a body, and no part is worse or better than any other. They are just parts and they do a job.
End the demonization and of the words PENIS AND VAGINA. SHOUT THEM LOUD AND PROUD!!! PENIS. VAGINA. ONCE MORE WITH FEELING!! PEEEEENISSS, VAAAAGINNNNAAA!
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Brandi Davis, ACC, is a certified Parenting Coach, Parent Educator, and Author of O.K. I’m A Parent Now What? She can also be found on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and be sure to catch her parenting podcasts on iTunes. The goal of Brandi’s practice is to bring respect, calm communication, teamwork, and FUN into the home or classroom. To discover all that Child and Family Coaching can bring to your family stop by www.childandfamilycoaching.com.