I’ve been reading that book that everyone and their mother raves about “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing” by Marie Kondo, and I’ve been obsessed with the idea of purging and letting go. As I go about my day at home I am looking at things differently. Do I use you? Why did I buy you? Do I need you? Do you bring me joy? On the full moon at Thanksgiving I did a new moon ritual with my brothers and sisters, under the moonlit creek, where we wrote down what we did not want in our lives anymore and what we felt we needed to let go of and then we burned it. I’ve been going through my closets as I finish the book and getting ready to say goodbye to those things that don’t bring me joy, those things that don’t serve me and my highest good anymore.
However, as I am purging these things, people have been throwing deals at me. I don’t know if it’s just the holiday sale mentality, or if I have a sign on my forehead asking for stuff or something, but it just keeps happening. For instance, not one, but two inexpensive apartments in Park Slope got thrown into my lap and I personally am not looking to move at all (I gave them to friends so don’t ask, they are gone now.) There have been some other random things such as a jumpsuit, a shirt, some lotions etc. I recently went back on an online dating site and have been getting so many messages from men. The last time I was on there I hardly got any messages at all.
My best friend thinks that all of these deals are making me indecisive, because I’ve also been incredibly indecisive about everything. How can you decide if you want something or not when it is almost for free or really cheap? The other morning I had to go get some groceries and I couldn’t decide which store I wanted to go to so I went in one direction, changed my mind and turned around, changed again and turned again, then I stayed in one spot for like 10 minutes trying to decide until I realized I was making myself insane for no reason. I mean, it’s freaking groceries! It’s not life or death.
So this got me thinking a lot about what we say yes to and no to.
In the grand scheme of life, this is actually a very big deal. Who and what do we let in to our space? To our hearts? To our energy fields? We can’t just think about letting go. We also have to consider not only what we consume, but what we bring home on a physical and emotional and energetic level. As humans we are vibrational beings. Our heart energy actually vibrates to more then 10 feet outside of our bodies. Who’s energy vibrations do we want to be feeling? Objects can carry vibrations in the color, the fabric, the feel, who made it, where it came from, if it’s coated in formaldehyde (like most store bought clothes are). Foods carry vibrations as well. We all saw “Like Water For Chocolate” (and if you didn’t you should). Food carries the soil it was in, the hands that pulled it out of the soil, the liquid it was bathed in, the grains or pesticides or hormones it was fed, the hands that sliced it, the intention of the person that cooked it. It also carries our personal intention when we eat it, what we are saying to ourselves or to others while we are eating it. “This food is bad, this food will make me fat, I am allergic to this food, I hate this food, I hate this person that I am eating this food with”
In essence, we digest everything. We digest the food, the sounds, the fabrics, the movies, the conversations, the sights, the air, the people etc. How do we deal with this? I don’t know. I am in the midst of working on it. My idea so far is to meditate more and to find quiet. To sit and be in my body and ask my body what she needs. She knows what she needs. She knows that she doesn’t want messages from totally random strange men on the internet. She doesn’t need an apartment in Park Slope. She doesn’t need the jumpsuit that doesn’t fit well that she has a similar one of in almost the same color. She can go to the expensive organic grocery store if she wants to because they have everything in one place to save time, instead of going to 4 different cheaper places to find everything just to save a few dollars. She doesn’t need to drink the gin martini that tastes good but makes her have a stupid argument with her mom about candy canes and gives her a rash on her face.
This is just some of the importance of yes and no.
If we say yes too much we scatter, we overwhelm, we make the wrong decisions, we lose ourselves, and we can actually make ourselves physically sick According to the book “Feelings Buried alive Never Die,” by Karol K. Truman. Candida, which is a fungal infection of yeast, is thought to infect a person when they say “yes” too much. Technically “Inability to claim ones own power” which “begins with doubting yourself.” I’ve been battling Candida for the past eight years or so. Many people are. It’s one of those things that almost everybody has whether they know it or not. Seriously, if you look up the symptoms you will recognize a few. If we say “no” to much we close our hearts, we fold, we crumple. People stop asking. We separate ourselves.
So, now it’s the full moon again, and as it wanes, we have another chance to purge again, and let go, to finally throw out those old jars sitting in the den that we wanted to up-cycle into lamps but never did. It’s a time to lose the friendships or relationships that are hurting you, or just not serving you in the way that you deserve. It’s a time to release old fears, and let go of the toxic chemical thoughts that take away your power. However, at the same time as we are letting go, let’s begin to think of the new moon, as well as this amazing New Year coming up. Lets begin to think about what we are saying yes to and what we are saying “no” to. Whose hearts we are letting vibrate in our space, what food, what TV show, what conversation we are mindlessly assaulting our bodies and minds with. Just because it is free or cheap or sitting in front of you doesn’t mean that you need to ingest it and digest it, put it in your body, or bring it home with you. It’s especially important during this holiday time when we are around all of this family and friends and food and drinks and gifts. What are we vibrating? What are we giving? What are we receiving and letting our bodies, minds and spirits receive. On that note, I am wishing you all joy and love on this holiday and for your new year ahead I wish you the ability to know and step into your own power and love yourself and your body enough to be able to say “yes” or “no” when it is time.
Stella Metzner has worked as a fashion stylist for almost 20 years. In 2008 she developed health issues which inspired her to learn several healing modalities. She became certified in Reiki level 1 and 2 and has practiced it now for 5 years. She is also a certified Eating Psychology Coach after graduating school for Dynamic Eating Psychology and mind Body Nutrition and Coaching from the Institute for the Psychology of Eating http://psychologyofeating.com/
