No way! And here’s why:
Kurt Cobain started playing piano when he was 4. Mozart got his first violin at age 4. Ed Sheeran started singing in his local choir when he was 4.
How about your kid?
As the Creative Director of Free Spirits Music in Prospect Heights, parents are always asking me this question:
“Is my 3/4/5 year old too young to start playing guitar?”
We’ve all heard about the Suzuki Method. Kids as young as 3 years old are encouraged to learn violin. It’s one of the only solutions out there, but plenty of families aren’t interested in violin. Many Brooklyn parents are from a more modern era, and are turned off by the classical repertoire.
My answer is always two-fold: it’s not too young at all- but they’re going to need your help.
Teaching the pre-K scene how to rock out is not something that your everyday music teacher knows how to take on. The reason why many guitar teachers don’t recommend starting this young is because they don’t want to take on the burden of instruction, practice, and reinforcement by themselves. They never got training (or a paycheck) to support the parents along the way.
Putting your child on an instrument before they can even read English requires you, their dutiful, beautiful parent, to practice with them.
Yes, you heard me. You gotta practice with your kid.
That means sitting down and the piano/guitar/ukulele/bassoon and learning with them. Working with them. Encouraging them.
If you want your kid to adore practicing, you are going to have the be the change you wish to see.
Yes, you noble parent, are akin to Ghandi.
Here are my top 3 tips to help you practice with your kid like a pro:
Let your child choose the instrument.
Your kid is in charge here. You’ve already seen this in other areas of your life, perhaps with the occasional twinge of horror.
If your child falls in love with an instrument, I encourage you to fall in love with it too. Buy one for them. Buy one for yourself. YouTube every artist who’s ever played it. If they choose the bassoon, you’ll have to read them Rainn Wilson’s memior, as the celebs in that category are thin.
The biggest factor to consider is the size of the instrument. When it comes to guitars, I recommend 1/2 size or 3/4 size acoustic guitars with nylon strings. “Regular sized” guitars are too big for their tiny hands, and the steel strings can make their fingers hurt when they press down on them. I made my list of favorites here.
The ukulele is obviously the most adorable instrument of all. The recorder will always hold rank as the most irritating (but useful to learn! How much are you willing to suffer?).
Don’t force them to read music.
Rule of thumb: if your kid cannot read English, they shouldn’t have to read music. There are alternatives.
My new online program helps parents and children learn guitar or ukulele together by using colors instead of music notes. The Suzuki method encourages children and parents to learn together by ear.
The goal: make practicing deliriously fun.
Don’t expect any kid to enjoy practicing alone. Sit with them. Carve the time out of your schedule. Set 80 alarms. Do what it takes to be alongside them once or twice a week for 15 minutes, and watch your child practice. Have her teach you something. Ask her to play it 15 times, and count aloud for her. This is her daily exercise in practice, and your daily exercise in patience.
Watch your child’s enthusiasm soar.
It starts with you. If you don’t find learning an instrument fun, then neither will they.
Get specific about what you want them to do.
It is hard to figure out what “practice” can look like. Calling out “GO PRACTICE!” from the kitchen as you’re doing the dishes is going to get you nowhere.
Have a quick conversation about what needs to be taken care of. This means: (1) speaking exactly what needs to be done, and (2) for how long. Then ask your kid to repeat it back to you.
This can look like:
“Play the three notes of ‘Hot Cross Buns’ for 5 minutes. I’m putting a timer on. When it rings, you’re done.”
“Your teacher wrote to practice the E minor pentatonic scale on the first 3 strings only. It’s time to do that 12 times. If one of the notes are wrong, it doesn’t count!”
If you’re struggling with this, try applying it in your own life first. I use the tool of (1) speaking exactly what needs to be done, and (2) for how long to manage my inbox and keep business meetings short.
Know this: A good teacher is going to make or break this experience.
Look for a music teacher who isn’t obsessed with results. Look for a music teacher who’s obsessed with making music fun. Look for someone who can laugh with your kid as they get distracted by boogers, or pause for a 30-second dance party after trying something hard. Look for someone who can take an 5 extra minutes to walk you through how to help lead practice time during the week.
But ultimately, you are your child’s idol. What you do will inspire them beyond anyone else.
And just remember – maybe 20 years down the road, all that practicing will get your kid into an amazing college on a full ride scholarship, and you’ll finally be able to pay off your brownstone. We must daydream together.
Stephanie Carlin is a singer/songwriter and the creative director of Free Spirits Music in Prospect Heights. Every semester, her 30 students have transformations in self expression by writing their own original songs and perform them at a rock show. Stephanie’s free e-book, “The Art Of Practicing: 3 Steps To Help Your Kid Fall In Love With Music” is available in May 2016. Reserve a copy for free here.