Two incredible Harvard anthropologists and researchers have released a new book into the world of parents and those curious about humanity in general that we should all read! Robert A. LeVine and Sarah LeVine Do Parents Matter? is a comprehensive amalgamation of studies conducted via fieldwork done within the last 50 years in South Asia, Latin America, and Africa also combined with other studies by academics, journalists, pediatricians, and developmental psychologists. Lots can be learned from other cultures! Our own ancestors had radically different ideas than we have now: the old proverb “Children should be seen and not heard,” represents a moral view that has gone out of fashion in the U.S. but with which many agrarian peoples in Africa and Asia would still agree.
There is so much to be said about our current American style of parenting and it’s absolute obsessive nature toward our children. Coddling, nurturing up the yin yang, dozens of compliments throughout the day and an absolute obsessive level of loving seem to be what we are expected to do, much of the time at our own expense of energy and sanity. Does this prepare children to tackle the world any better than parenting fifty years ago did? We are all honing in on raising perfect children, and it can become extremely stressful for all involved. Back in the “olden days,” it was often thought that if parents gave too much attention to their children, it would cause a backlash effect of selfishness and becoming spoiled. The LeVine’s have consistently found that children can be happy and healthy in a wide variety of conditions, not just the effort-intensive, cautious environment so many American parents drive themselves crazy trying to create. Japanese children co-sleep with their parents well into grade school, while women of the Hausa tribe avoid verbal and eye contact with their infants, and yet, they are as likely as any of us to raise happy and well-adjusted children. Children are smarter, more resilient, and more independent than we give them credit for. Give this book a read! They have also realized that genetics play more of a role than some would like to admit, and that teachers at school have a huge power over the way a child will end up warming up to the world.
