The Amazon book description says NurtureShock is one of the most influential books ever written on child development–usually I would balk at that but in this case I think it may be true.
My well-read copy of Nurtureshock
Most parenting books I can distill in a few sentences, saving you the trouble of reading them. But this one is not that at all. I almost dismissed it as outdated (it was published nearly 10 years ago) with the first chapter about how general praise is bad for kids–who doesn’t know that now?–but that was just the beginning. The book went on to change not only the way I intend to raise my daughter in subtle ways, but also the way I interpret my own childhood development.
Talk About Race
And this deserves more than a note. If you are white, pretending race doesn’t exist does not work. One reason seems like it must work is really because we don’t want to talk about it. You have to talk about it. The more diverse the environment where your kids go to school, the more you need to talk about it, not less.
IQ Testing is More Than Just Biased
Another point in the book that really hit home was that the complete waste of time of intelligence testing for young kids. Their brain development is in spurts, so the timing of the test can make a big difference. Giving the kids one test and labeling them for life based on that seems criminal, never mind all the problems with cultural and economic bias, the tests just don’t work.
A few more things you should know from NurtureShock
- All kids lie (yes, yours too), a lot, especially teenagers. And we should probably let the teenagers sometimes
- Gifted and talented tests in young kids show no correlation with academic success, none of them, they are basically without any merit
- If your kids hate each other, it probably has nothing to do with you
- Sleep matters way more than you think–especially in kids
Even if you know these things, it is worth reading the author’s detailed explanations and supporting arguments. I loved this book.
Related Posts: Classic Book Reviews
Book Review: How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk