1. They’ve got pack mentality. And I’m not just talking Lord of The Flies. What they want most is for everyone to be together. They want everyday to be family day, or group playdate day. Basically, if they are under eight-years-old they want to be enmeshed in the pack, the more the merrier.
2. They have to be trained not to pee on the floor.
3. They need to be run and then they will more cooperative and bonded to you. Until they go for your throat (which is my new term for a tantrum).
4. They will do anything for a treat. Like dogs, children are food-motivated. Carry a pack of M&M’s with you everywhere and you will have one compliant kid. But remember, they have to earn them. If you just give them treats they will never take you seriously again and will probably try to dig to China through the couch using blunt-end safety scissors.
5. They are unpredictable around other members of their species. When introduced to another kid, you never know exactly how your kid will react. Sure, you might have an idea, but they often have to sniff around each other to be sure things are cool. Occasionally, they will just click, trotting off together as if they’ve known each other their whole lives. Other times, one kid ends up under the kitchen table crying, while the other one is in time out.
6. They travel with their toys.
7. They wake you up in the middle of the night trying to climb in bed with you.
8. They wake you up too early in the morning because they can’t pee by themselves.
9. They desperately want to please you. But they can’t help stealing food off the counter.
10. You have found them, on more than one occasion, trying to eat an entire stick of butter.
11. They have to go outside for at least an hour everyday or they tear the house apart.
12. They dislike your singing.
13. And no matter how big they get they still want to snuggle in your lap (thank god!).
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Photo by Justin Veenema