All parents want what is best for their children. That’s a given. Unfortunately, particularly in cities like New York, there is a push for parents to provide what’s best by exposing their kids to every class, artistic endeavor, and intellectual pursuit out there before they even get to Pre-K! Parents are constantly hit with the latest trend in how to land coveted spots everywhere from daycare centers straight through to high schools. It’s a burden on parent and child alike. And it may be having the opposite effect in the end. Kids burn out before they get started, and childhood, a fleeting and precious time, is turned into an early race on the fast track.
But there is something all parents can do to slow things down a bit without sacrificing many of the essential skills and experiences all children need. In short: More play time. Yep, play. This is considered so important that the United Nations High Commission for Human Rights has listed it as a right to all children. Play is serious business!
All Work, No Play
In trying to provide our children with all the advantages we hope will bring them happiness and success, we may also be hindering their ability to take in many of the key developmental gains found in free play. With the tremendous push to do more and be more, children are often missing out on the joy, pleasure, and benefits of simple play. For many years now, there has been a trend toward educational performance and achievement, from Kindergarten through college and beyond. And with this trend has come a decrease in the appreciation and understanding of free time and creative play. Creative play is not the same as soccer, Little League, or scheduled classes in ceramics. Creative play is child-driven and often involves little direction by parents. It is a time for children to discover who they are and how they interact with others, and to navigate their way through the world. Play teaches them all sorts of skills. And it’s fun!
Less Screen Time
It seems that all parents struggle with this one, and no wonder. There is barely a moment in the day when we are not all looking at a screen for one reason or another. With regard to children, online games, movies, television, anything screen-related, interferes with creative play! When kids are focused on screen images, even interactive games, the type of learning taking place is largely passive and not particularly creative. There may be problem-solving skills involved, but it is not an outgrowth of something created by a child. It’s also a very artificial way of learning about the real world. And there is increasing research suggesting too much screen time interferes with important social skills, such as empathy and reading social cues effectively, not to mention problems with attention and focus. Bottom line: sometimes, you just have to unplug. Show your child there is a better and more fun way to spend downtime.
What is Creative Play?
Creative play is best described with words and phrases like: make believe, imagination, playing house, tea parties, and hand puppets, just to name a few. The main idea is the kids are largely in charge of the activity. Adult presence is key, certainly, but adults are the guests, the kids are hosting the event. Children can also participate in open play without adults, depending on the age of the child. But the main idea is this: it’s important for children to create their own world from time to time, to make up their own rules and engage each other on their own terms. Their lives will be more enriched and they will engage in the world more successfully as they develop. The tools of creative play are simple: dolls, small toys, hand puppets, empty boxes, and stuffed animals, among many others. It doesn’t take much for a child to turn an appliance box into a space ship and travel to new worlds. Making up a play and choosing or assigning roles to act out is a great example of free play. The same is true with pretending to be an animal, shopkeeper, or a teacher. Creative play is an essential way for children to learn. With very young children, you can witness the delight they experience with their first bath toy, for instance, as they dunk it below the surface and watch it pop back up again, as you ask, Where did it go? Even at very early ages, play and all of its benefits can be observed.
The Importance of Play
Play opens a child’s mind to new ideas and their hearts to new sensations and feelings. Try to think of play as a child’s laboratory, a place where children can explore through experimentation their emerging abilities and skills. Play is a crucial way for children to learn and get along with one another. It offers the opportunity to master their world safely and creatively. And that sense of mastery allows them to take more chances in other endeavors. When playing with others, children learn how to negotiate social relationships. They also learn how to share, deal with conflicts, and all without the pressures often associated with more structured experiences. It is amazing to watch children figure stuff out on their own. When encouraged to do so and permitted the time, children can practice decision-making skills, discover likes and dislikes, develop creative interests, even scientific thought (remember that space ship?) all through free play. When too much play is constructed around adult concepts and ideas, children can lose the opportunity to develop their own ideas and interests.
Development and Play
There is an enormous amount of cognitive development that takes place during the early part of childhood. Growth in virtually every area is crucial to later stages in life. These include, but are not exclusive to, motor development, visual acuity, sensory development, socialization, empathy, independent thinking, and problem-solving skills. In truth, creative play is one of the few activities encompassing all of these essential developmental building blocks. And this is true for infants as well. Parental involvement is obviously needed, but the relationship babies develop with their mobiles, stuffed animals, and other toys are essentially the early beginnings of free play. Babies are learning to interact with something meaningful and important, reaching out to their newly developing world. In short, play supports emotional, social, and psychological development. It greatly aids in the maturation of skills needed to succeed in school, which is the focus for many parents. More time playing is an investment in your child’s well being on multiple levels. And it temporarily lifts the pressure for everyone, which is a very good thing.
Making Play a Priority
It might sound funny to be reminded to have fun, but making play a priority in your child’s life is important. With all of the demands placed on parents to keep up with one another, schools, and even other children, it’s easy to lose sight of how to make something so simple a part of your child’s day. The first step is setting aside special play time. That depends a lot on the age of your child, but even with older kids (say, 10-12), it is crucial to engage in something less structured whenever possible. Again, that means less screen time. Get out some toys, ask your kids to make up a play for you and perform it after dinner. Have hand puppets around and encourage your children to make up stories with them. Or create a space, like the dining room table, for making things with paper, yarn, and Popsicle sticks. And don’t underestimate a solidly stocked costume box. Children love to dress up! And, of course, the beloved fort made with sheets and pillows and couch cushions is always a favorite. If your child wants you to play along, great, but let them be in charge as much as possible. If it’s too much for them to handle, and they get bossy or discouraged, step in, but just long enough to get them back on track.
Resources
There are some excellent online resources for general information about children and development. Below are a few that offer some great information:
The American Academy of Pediatrics – www.aap.org
Urban Child Institute – www.urbanchildinstitute.org
Zero to Three – www.zerotothree.org
Child Development – www.childdevelopmentinfo.com
Jamie Kay, Ph.D., received her doctoral degree in clinical psychology from The Derner Institute at Adelphi University. She was the Director of the Center for Attention and Learning at Lenox Hill Hospital for seven years, securing and maintaining six Robin Hood Foundation grants. She has held senior positions at behavioral health centers and hospitals throughout the greater metropolitan area. Dr. Kay developed a series of groups and workshops at the esteemed 92nd Street Y Parenting Center on the Upper East Side of New York and maintained a private practice in Manhattan for over 20 years. Dr. Kay founded Learning Solutions NYC in 2008 to help parents navigate the demands of raising a child with special learning needs and obtain services from reliable professionals.