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What to Say, How to Say It, and When to Listen
by Wendy Mogel, PHD
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Talking to kids is much harder than anyone ever imagined before they had them. Someone is here to help.
Wendy Mogel, the author of VOICE LESSONS, is a practicing clinical psychologist. She is also the author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, and The Blessing of a B Minus.
I just re-read chapter 4: “The Boss, the Bestie, and the High Priestess of Pretend” which is an absolutely perfect title for a chapter on talking to girls 3-11. One of her primary lessons is so true to my life right now, that I found myself reading it aloud to my husband. “A common pitfall for parents of girls is mistaking their daughter’s verbal sophistication for emotional maturity and interpreting her meltdowns as regression or manipulation.” In other words, little girls are great mimics and sound like little adults–but inside they are still little babies.
Throughout the book she provides some specific (and different) advice for moms and dads. Some of it seems to reflect a world I imagine is still the case in most of the country, but may seem a bit dated or sexist in Brooklyn. Like anything, just take what you can use that applies to your world.
The chapters on teenage boys and teenage girls are where Dr. Mogel really shines. It seems like she really understands teenagers (although we may never know for sure). Even better, she provides a wealth of exact phrases to use. This book is a lifesaver.
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Katie Hurley tells us not one, but many tips for raising confident, strong, and compassionate girls in NO MORE MEAN GIRLS. She provides real life activities, conversation starters, and reflective tips for helping your daughter deal with both mean girls in her life and recovering from being a mean girl herself–because we have all been both at some time or another. She makes a compelling case that the need for social assistance and learning to deal with intra-girl social issues begins not in your teens, but as early as 3 years old.
Every few pages there is a “parent teacher conference” highlighting tips and lessons such as recognizing signs of stress, teaching girls to be assertive, and defining healthy conflict. There are even trickier subjects discussed in detail, such as preventing damaging alliance building which can exclude other girls and prevent a mean girl culture.This is an important read for parents of girls 3-13.
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I was provided a review copy of these books, but this has no impact on the content of these reviews.
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