The Brooklyn Doula, Megan Davidson, has supported nearly 600 families in birth and over 1200 families postpartum. She brings those experiences to her new book Your Birth Plan: A Guide to Navigating All of Your Choices in Childbirth*. This was the first birth book I have read in a while and I loved the practical, realness of it. The book is packed full of information you can use and very minimal fluff…the best kind of nonfiction book in my opinion. We were lucky enough to get her to provide this modified excerpt about an important birth topic.
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I work as a labor doula and recently I helped someone through a labor was long by anyone’s definition. Weighing heavily on my client’s mind was the on call schedule of the doctors in her practice. Her time in the hospital began with a doctor she really liked but, unfortunately, the only doctor she felt uncomfortable with was taking over at shift change. Willing herself to have a baby before shift change wasn’t a viable option, nor did it feel reasonable to her to be cared for by someone she felt badly about. Ultimately, we told her doctor her concerns. The doctor investigated the options and was able to help us negotiate switching my client’s care to another practice. My client was relieved to have her baby with a provider she felt better matched with.
While switching up your birth team during labor is not ideal, I share the story both to exemplify the importance of being thoughtful about building your birth team and also as a reminder that you ultimately have control over who cares for you. One of the strongest messages from both of my own births, and the hundreds of births I’ve attended as a doula since, is the incredible value and importance of building your birth team. Surround yourself with people who you know will believe in you and support you, who will keep you safe, and who will treat you with respect. This is critical no matter what your plans are or what location you’ve selected.
Your birth team includes your both clinical team and your nonclinical support people. Your clinical team might include doctors, midwives, residents, medical students, anesthesiologists, nurses, physician’s assistants, birth assistants, and more. Part of the decision about who’s on your team is made when you pick a birth location—a reason to carefully consider location. Some of these people you will get to select and meet with before hand, like your doctor or midwife, and some of them you will not meet until you are in labor, such as hospital or birth center staff like nurses, anesthesiologists, or birth assistants.
Who you pick for your nonclinical team can include people such as a spouse, partner, girlfriend or boyfriend, a friend, a coparent, family members, or a doula, among others. In selecting your team, you should check on any constraints imposed by your location or clinical team. Many hospitals, for example, will allow two to three support people in a labor room and one to two people in an operating room. You should also make sure that you and your partner, if you have one, are on the same page about who you are inviting.
I’ve been to births where the team was incredible, and it felt like an amazingly supportive environment for my client. That’s the goal no matter who you’ve picked for your team. I’ve also been to births where I was shocked by how unsupportive and inappropriate some of the birth team were. Who you pick is a choice you should make carefully in order to surround yourself with people who help you feel calm, confident, and capable. Inviting people who aren’t helpful or supportive can create unwanted drama or conflict during birth.
If someone is involved in your clinical care or support who you do not feel comfortable with, such as my client’s story above, talk with your doula, partner, or nurse about your options. A medical student can be asked to leave, a care provider can be switched, a friend or family member can be gently guided to the waiting room. This is your birth and ultimately you need to feel good about who is with you.
A positive experience is more often about how you’re treated and supported in birth; about being able to make decisions and understand what’s happening; and about feeling in control, respected, and informed throughout the process. How you’re treated in birth matters enormously, perhaps even more than the specifics of what happens. Even when everything is good from a clinical perspective, that doesn’t always translate to having a positive experience. This is a point I can’t emphasize enough and something so critical to consider as you plan for your birth. Finding your people, whoever they are, is about honoring who you are, what you want in your birth experience, and how you feel.
*Parts of this essay are adapted from Your Birth Plan: A Guide to Navigating All Your Choices in Childbirth.
Megan Davidson is a certified labor doula, childbirth educator, and lactation counselor. She is the author of Your Birth Plan: A Guide to Navigating All of Your Choices in Childbirth, as well as several essays about doula support and body size in pregnancy. Megan has attended nearly 600 births in NYC hospitals, birth centers, and homes and she has supported over 1250 families postpartum. She has assisted clients with every type of preference, intervention, and outcome available. She lives in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn with her husband, Shawn, and their sons August and Clay.
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