[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”0px|||” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ border_style=”solid” global_colors_info=”{}”]When The Gardner and The Carpenter was first released, I only briefly skimmed it but felt I got the point. Some parents are like carpenters, trying to create an ideal adult, and others are like gardeners, setting up fertile circumstances in order that kids can find their true calling. Well, it turns out the book is nothing like that. That was just marketing for a much more complex, sometimes rambling but always insightful exploration of everything from anthropology to childhood development to psychology to our current obsession with screen time.
I listened to the brilliant Ezra Klein interview with Alison Gopnick and was inspired to find the book again and give it a good read. The podcast itself is also worth listening to for even more nuance, but it doesn’t replace the book.
Alison Gopnick is a true feminist in that she successfully leaves preconceived notions about gender in the dust as she convincing rebukes most evolutionary anthropology for it’s extremely limited, and essentially blind, views of human development. As any parent knows, kids take over your brain and your life. I imagine this was also true thousands of years ago. It isn’t like stone age parents didn’t love their children. So why is child rearing, obviously the most important driver of human civilization, completely left out of nearly all theories of social development? That is one whopper of an oversight.
Gopnick gives us, “wow, that” moments throughout this dense collection. In particular, I found the studies on imitation so fascinating that I have to reconsider the way I go about my daily life.. or not. Just such “carpenter” thinking is exactly what she argues is completely ineffective. Basically, kids are way smarter and more interesting than us. They have special “explore” capabilities that most adults have long since left behind. Those capabilities may just be the key to changing everything.
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ border_style=”solid” global_colors_info=”{}”]Gopnik continues her foundation shaking insights with her analysis on working parents (for basically all of history, including American history, this with was both parents), technological development (see her mind-blowing intro to the chapter on future technology), and why everyone has been lying to you about the menace of “uptalk”.
All of this great material is held together by her real theme: “caring for children is a good thing in itself” not because of what the child might become but because of who it makes us. Love, care giving (for children and the old), and openness to change are the real values we should be instilling in our children. Ideally, we should be doing this by example.
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”]
Recent in Books:
[/et_pb_text][et_pb_post_slider posts_number=”4″ include_categories=”13017″ use_text_overlay=”off” _builder_version=”4.16″ background_color=”#2ea3f2″ custom_padding=”|||” custom_padding_tablet=”|||” custom_padding_phone=”|||” box_shadow_style=”preset6″ box_shadow_blur=”10px” box_shadow_color=”rgba(0,0,0,0.1)” show_inner_shadow=”on” global_colors_info=”{}” button_text_size__hover_enabled=”off” button_one_text_size__hover_enabled=”off” button_two_text_size__hover_enabled=”off” button_text_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_one_text_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_two_text_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_border_width__hover_enabled=”off” button_one_border_width__hover_enabled=”off” button_two_border_width__hover_enabled=”off” button_border_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_one_border_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_two_border_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_border_radius__hover_enabled=”off” button_one_border_radius__hover_enabled=”off” button_two_border_radius__hover_enabled=”off” button_letter_spacing__hover_enabled=”off” button_one_letter_spacing__hover_enabled=”off” button_two_letter_spacing__hover_enabled=”off” button_bg_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_one_bg_color__hover_enabled=”off” button_two_bg_color__hover_enabled=”off”]
[/et_pb_post_slider][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.16″ global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.16″ background_size=”initial” background_position=”top_left” background_repeat=”repeat” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.16″ custom_padding=”|||” global_colors_info=”{}” custom_padding__hover=”|||”][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]